


Scanlan's Superhero Rescue

by GeminiMoon14



Series: Adventures of an Unfortunate Bard [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Drowning, Fantasy Races, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Minor Scanlan Shorthalt/Pike Trickfoot, Near Drowning, Superpowers, Villains, bad guy set up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27555049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeminiMoon14/pseuds/GeminiMoon14
Summary: Scanlan had made a name for himself as the Public Relations Officer for the renowned hero team: Vox Machina. After they became more well known and popular, Scanlan took his place as the smooth talking publicist that would blog about the heroes’ accomplishments and offer in-depth interviews. Though he was gifted with powers of persuasion and musical talent, he was not blessed with abilities well-suited for combat. This would lead to others, potential enemies of Vox Machina to turn their sights onto him.
Relationships: Scanlan Shorthalt & Vox Machina, Scanlan Shorthalt/Pike Trickfoot
Series: Adventures of an Unfortunate Bard [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983430
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Scanlan's Superhero Rescue

Scanlan had made a name for himself as the Public Relations Officer for the renowned hero team: Vox Machina. After they became more well known and popular, Scanlan took his place as the smooth talking publicist that would blog about the heroes’ accomplishments and offer in-depth interviews. Though he was gifted with powers of persuasion and musical talent, he was not blessed with abilities well-suited for combat. This would lead to others, potential enemies of Vox Machina to turn their sights onto him.

Scanlan was  _ pissed _ . Not only had he been abducted by low-level henchmen and tied to an anchor like he was in some clich é d supervillain trap, but they had the  _ audacity _ to refer to him as a child when they first grabbed him. Naturally, he of course used his power against them, leaving their psyches damaged.

Unfortunately, they had recovered and he had been knocked unconscious by a third ruffian from behind. To make matters worse they had stolen his beret, which completed his outfit. His wrists were chafing from the rope used to tie his arms around the anchor and he grimaced at the tape stuck over his mouth. His torso was bound to the anchor as well and he appeared to be in some kind of undersea movie-set tank.

He rolled his eyes at the set-up and glared at the ropes holding him there. He could hear one of the henchmen rambling about his recent dental check-up with another grunt. He squirmed in his binds and attempted to wriggle his way to freedom. 

One of his captors noticed and called out, “Ha! Good luck with that, Shorty! Ain’t no way yer getting loose from the boss’s trap. Scanlan ignored the man in favor of trying to rub his ropes against the rusted parts of the anchor. The hired thug scowled at their captive as he told his buddy to help him down, and slammed the Gnome’s head against the anchor.

Scanlan’s cry of pain was muffled by his make-shift gag and he felt blood run down his forehead as the henchman hissed, “Next time don’t ignore me.” Scanlan gave him the cheekiest look he could manage with a headache and a strip of duct tape over his lips. The grunt spat at his feet before climbing back out of the tank.

It seemed to be hours, though it may have only been a few minutes, before the underlings scrambled to their posts and a movie camera swiveled towards him with the recording light on. He heard a voice over the speakers of the movie set hiss, “... see you are in no place to be making demands.” Scanlan looked to the camera where he imagined Vox Machina to be watching and slowly shook his head ‘no’ while giving them a meaningful look.

The voice, a villain that Scanlan recalls mocking very openly about his under-the-sea themed exploits belonging in a B-Movie version of The Little Mermaid, took on a smug tone as they continued, “Now, I propose a game.” 

From above, water started pouring in and Scanlan’s blood ran cold. “It’s currently a quarter ‘til midnight and the tank only takes fifteen minutes to fill. I hope you’re quick Vox Machina, your second-rate critic is about to be  _ sleeping with the fishes _ .” Despite the circumstances, Scanlan could not resist rolling his eyes and looking at the camera with an expression of ‘can you believe this guy?’ as the water started to creep up over his toes.

Soon, Scanlan was left with only a few overseers while the rest scattered to wherever their master had bid them.  _ Okay that was a bit dramatic _ , Scanlan told himself. He was still irritated as he tugged on the ropes, the water having now reached his shin. The underling from earlier was watching him struggle with a smug grin that Scanlan found himself wanting to wipe from his face.

The water was rising rapidly asScanlan realized the tank may fill up in ten minutes but the top was at least four feet above his head and he was stuck at the bottom with the anchor. He thrashed as the water began soaking the edge of his shirt. The henchmen began to chuckle as they watched Scanlan struggle to free himself.

At ten minutes, the water had reached Scanlan’s throat and he was beginning to panic. He trusted his team but the water was  _ way _ too close for comfort. A couple more of his captors had wandered away by this point, obviously not entertained by the Gnome’s struggles any more. 

Just as he started to lift himself onto the tips of his toes to keep his nose above water, he heard a loud bellow of rage and the doors to the set crashed inward. In a few short seconds, Vox Machina was in the room fighting off a swarm of underlings. 

Vex’s incorporeal arrows sunk into unlucky henchmen and Vax vanished into the shadows only to reappear behind someone he had sunk his blade into. While the twins stuck to the shadows, Percy made himself a spectacle with his shadowy visage as he fired his bullets and Keyleth had shifted into her albino, saber-toothed tiger form causing the lucky few stragglers to run. Grog had charged into the mass of hired thugs in the most direct path to Scanlan. 

Wings of light unfurled behind her, Pike followed the path Grog had made while occasionally blasting an enemy with her holy light. Scanlan felt his heart flutter at her appearance as she ran towards his glass prison. A group of hoodlums threw themselves into a pile on top of her only five feet away from the glass.

Scanlan watched in horror as she fell under the pile just as the water finally covered his head and he took one last inhale before he was completely enveloped. He thrashed in the water as he desperately held his breath and willed his friends to hurry up.

He could hear Vex’s arrows striking the glass and could barely make out the cracks in the glass beginning to form as Grog roared and tried to shove a few of the thugs out of his way. Keyleth had gone to keep others from circling back. Percy tried to take a shot as well, but someone knocked his gun off target. Vax’s powers only let him get so close to the glass and his daggers only helped the cracks a little.

Scanlan found his air escaping despite his best efforts and darkness was creeping at the edge of his vision. He looked at them helplessly as he shrugged his shoulders and smiled beneath the tape before it all went dark.

They saw him go limp in the water and that was the moment Vox Machina turned the tides of battle. Grog pulled a henchman off Pike and flung him almost ten feet back as he yelled, “Get the  _ FUCK _ out of my way!” Her vision cleared enough to see their friend motionless as water poured out of the top, a few of the cracks only having a few trickling streams. 

Her eyes went wide as she drew her maul, launched herself at the tank, and shattered the glass with one divinely strong swing. The water rushed out, knocking several thugs off balance, and Pike rushed towards Scanlan. 

While the others took care of the cannon fodder that had been thrown at the group in order to delay them, Pike made it to Scanlan’s side. His hair fell limp and curled against his face as she cut at his binds. As she removed the tape his lips parted, tinged blue with the coldness of the water he had been soaked with, and she began to panic. Her heart was in her throat as she placed a hand over his chest, a warm golden light in her palm, and pulsed her magic through his body.

There was a pause before his body spasmed and he started coughing up water. Pike propped him up on her lap and turned him sideways as his body convulsed with the effort of expelling water from his lungs. She rubbed his back soothingly and muttered reassurances as the others rounded up the leftover thugs.

He teeth chattered as he huddled in on himself and shivered. Grog and Vax made it to her side first, the latter removed his cloak and wrapped it around his friend’s shoulders. Vax helped him sit up as Scanlan coughed out, “Good timing. I hope you got the asshole.” Grog chuckled as he told his friend, “Sent him all wrapped up to the nearest station  _ after _ calling the media to get embarrassing pictures.”

Scanlan chuckled and tried to get to his feet, stumbling as he did so. Vax steadied him with a hand under his arm while Pike supported him on his way up. He pulled tighter at the cloak around him and, leaning heavily on Pike, started walking towards the door with a remark of, “Well I need to change clothes.” 

A bit of cloth was plopped down on his head and Scanlan grabbed it, realizing it was his beret. He looked towards Percy, who’s hand was just pulling away, as the human told him, “Messenger delivered that, figured you’d want it.” Scanlan smiled at him and tipped his head in gratitude.

He made it halfway to their car before shock and cold hit Scanlan and took his legs out from under him. Pike was quick though and had him in her arms like a damsel-in-distress before his knees hit the ground. He gave her a weak smile as he swooned, “You’ve truly swept me off my feet, milady.”

She pulled him close and wrapped her wings of light around them as she told him, “Get some rest, we’ll be home soon.” He curled into her without another word, or flirty remark, and pulled the cloak around him tighter. 

The evening passed in a haze for him after that. Vaguely, Scanlan remembers his clothes being removed and something warm being wrapped around him. There were a few fleeting memories of concerned voices and a cold that had sunk its claws into him. 

Eventually, he awoke wrapped in a delightfully soft warmth with his curtains closed. He recognized the room and bed as his and slowly sat up. As he did, several other bodies moved and someone called out, “He’s up!” 

Scanlan opened his mouth to speak but a slender hand pressed a finger to his lips as Vex told him, “Don’t talk yet, Darling, we need to make sure your throat is fine.” He furrowed his brow and gave her a confused look as the door to his room opened. She gave him a weak smile and his hand a squeeze as she said, “Just wait, Pike will fill you in.”

As though summoned, said Gnome appeared with a thermometer in hand and began to check him over. Pike placed the back of her hand to his forehead as she stuck the thermometer in his mouth with a ‘hold this please’ and felt at his throat. 

Scanlan obeyed as she muttered results to herself and the others hovered nervously. She took the thermometer when it beeped, checked the results, and poured a dose into its plastic cup before handing it to him. He grimaced but swallowed, trying not to gag, and eagerly took the mug extended to him by Keyleth. 

The half-elven woman smiled as she informed him, “It should help and I put plenty of honey in there so it would taste nice too!” He gestured with his mug to show his thanks as he gulped it down. The others left the room, hovering near the door to offer help and listen in about his recovery.

Pike finished writing down his status on a clipboard she carried and declared, “He’ll make a full recovery but no talking unless necessary until that sickness of yours passes completely.” He gave her a look that she smiled at and told him, “I know but try at least. For me?” 

Scanlan sighed heavily as though entirely put out but smiled in a way that told her, “Just for you.” She glowed, literally and figuratively, as he conceded and put her hand on his cheek. He held her there as she reassured, “It won’t be long, promise. I just don’t want you hurt anymore from this.” 

Scanlan pulled her down so that he could look her in the eyes and planted a small kiss on her cheek. Pike giggled and playfully pushed him away as she scolded, “No, not until you’re feeling better mister.”

The way he waggled his eyebrows at her made clear how he felt and she shoved him onto his back, ordering, “Rest! And no getting out of bed until I say so.” He smirked and folded his arms behind his head as though playfully telling her that it was no problem for him. She sighed as she left and simply remarked, “Get better soon.”

With that they closed the door mostly, leaving a crack in the door so he could call for help, and left him to his rest. Not one to pass up a day of doing nothing, Scanlan curled up under his soft blanket and closed his eyes, thankful that he did not die in some cheesy villain’s movie-set death trap.


End file.
